Newt Gingrich won this weekend’s South Carolina primary with 40% of the vote and delivered an impressive, wide-ranging victory speech that went after the President and his recent decision to reject the proposed Keystone pipeline plan:  

The president’s decision to veto the Keystone pipeline- you know you have to wonder how out of touch with reality this administration is. It’s one thing to say they can’t play chess at the White House, it’s another thing to say they can’t play checkers at the White House, but if they can’t play tic-tac-toe? The president says “No, we don’t want you to build a pipeline from central Canada straight down with no mountains intervening to the largest petrochemical center in the world, Houston, so that we would make money on the pipeline, we’d make money on managing the pipeline, we’d make money on refining the oil, and we’d make money in the ports of Houston and Galveston shipping the oil.”

Yes, Mr. President, how out of touch with reality are you that you really think that’s how you play tic-tac-toe? You just have to put an X in a space. 

Gingrich expanding on his issues with the Keystone pipeline project: 

The corps of engineers current bureaucracy is so long and so stupid that they currently take 8 years to study-not to do the project-to study the project. We fought the entire second World War in 3 years and 8 months. Now if you can beat Nazi Germany faster it is almost unimaginable that it now takes 8 years to study the project. 

Yes, the Terminewter is right. Nothing should take longer than WWII. What, you need an extra year at university? It is unimaginable that learning art history is harder than defeating Nazi Germany. Obama wants to be reelected? What’s he been doing the past 4 years? It is unimaginable that he thinks fixing this country is harder than defeating Nazi Germany. Maybe we’d even be out of Afghanistan by now if we’d brought in the triumph of WWII technology that is the Sherman tank. Newt Gingrich knows that to move forwards you have to look backwards and destroy everything in your wake. 

They think [rejecting the Keystone pipeline proposal will] really stop the oil from getting out. No, what Prime Minister Harper - who, by the way, is a conservative and pro-American - what he has said is he’s gonna cut a deal with the Chinese and they’ll build a pipeline straight across the Rockies to Vancouver. We’ll get none of the jobs, none of the energy, none of the opportunity. Now an American president who can create a Chinese-Canadian partnership is truly a danger to this country. 

Seems like Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper just wants to lay some pipe on China’s President Hu Jintao. 

Though maybe the comeback grandpa is right. An alliance of Canada’s politenes and China’s deference would be a frightful thing indeed. Right now China and Canada are like our two high school friends competing for our favor. If we stop paying attention to them and they become friends with each other, would they not need us anymore? China might stop giving us their lunch money and Canada might stop doing our math homework. How can the US compete on the global market if we don’t have these countries there to do everything for us? Next thing you know we won’t be at the head of the cool kids table at the next G20 summit and we’ll have to go sit next to Turkey, and you do not want to know what that guy smells like.  

Also, while Newt was the big story this weekend there was an even bigger story the lamestream media wasn’t reporting on: the candidate who got more votes than all 4 of his competitors combined to win a stunning 1% of the vote: Herman Cain. South Carolina votes have confirmed what Occupy Wall Street has long known: Stephen Colbert is the 1%. This is as clear as sign as any that the people want Stephen Colbert to run for President of South Carolina.